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The Unfortunate Grand Opening of Crocs

Breaking SHOCKING DISASTROUS news brought to you by MasterJay at Science of Smut.

Dear Vancouver Fashionistas & Misters, today we mark a very MISERABLE and FORMIDABLE day in local fashion history as it is the Grand UNFORTUNATE opening of CROCS right in the heart of downtown Vancouver on Robson Street. The city was already polluted with douche-bag wear from Ed Hardy and the likes of it but now with the store opening of Crocs, our city is COMPLETELY DOOMED...

"O CHAMPAGNE and PEARLS that gushed forth from the Hearts of our dear loved, Christian Dior and Gabrielle 'Coco' Chanel as a fountain of mercy for us, I trust in You. For the sake of their sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world. Help us break free from this miserable world of ghastly and distasteful fashions and into a world where Haute Couture is marvellous and appreciated art. " Amen.