so. here i start again. from jumbled letters in my mind, my head. my fingers repetitiously hitting the keyboard as my mind told them so. letter by letter beautifully arranged as one unity, one paragraph and story. yes, another story of me. hearing my story may seem so boring and gloomy, but oh well, sometimes you just read them anyway. like a sunset in front of my eyes now. very calm, serene and warm. i'm sitting inside my cold apartment, on my bed, staring out the window through the curtain. looking out at numerous tall buildings with some sunset glares, madly deeply crazy about them. 
i wonder how people could manage to build those tall buildings. i feel so small. one tricky way is to feel good about myself, by starting to love myself the way it is, i learn to love others. others' weaknesses first, then their strengths.
i will talk a little bit about my life here, in the fashion capital of australia, melbourne. having myself working and studying so hard every single day often exhausts me. i feel that part of me is absorbed, by the filthy negative energy surrounds me. and that's when i find some getaway, never healthy but it is just how i replenish my boredom and stress. i do drink, sometimes, a lot. yes, i do. so why? several times i lose control, cause no one is ever, really, able to control themselves perfectly. your ego and anger will take over your acts, and when alcohol is involved, it will bloat like a nuclear bomb. 
i do tricks, such as spilling out all the drinks people give (or buy) for me, i feel sorry for them. but oh well, i just want to keep in shape. black out is never fun and having a severe hangover? once is enough. i never like alcohol, really, i just love the after effect ;) who doesn't?never ever judge me by my look, what i wear, what i tweet, or whathefuckever you want to judge me from. get to know me, then you will know who i am. judgmental people live in hypocrite life with hypocrite faces. you are no other than sick people whose lives aren't interesting til you are so busy taking care of others' lives.