So many people are in "the rat race" to get to the top, to be better, to be prettier, to be more admired. Whilst ambition is well and good, a trait to be commended on, it should not be an excuse to push others down. There will be sacrifices throughout life, there's no doubting that, those relationships that were for a purpose more than anything and those relationships that merely weigh you down, but these shouldn't be in the forefront of our minds. These shouldn't be our ammunition. We shouldn't be attacking other's success and blessings, as a way to reach our own. That's not how it works. In the end, you may end up at the top, but not for long, because no one will like or respect you. Recently, one of my mentors posted a quote on LinkedIn "Success without integrity is failure." and I could not think of anything more certain.
I know many of my readers who are struggling right now to find good, meaningful work that will get them to where they want to be. Some, sadly, have already given up on their dreams and are off to look for a job doing anything. This breaks my heart. As I've had a bounty of questions recently, on careers, success and failure, I thought I would put together some pointers may help you to find the success you seek.
So exactly how do you succeed with integrity?
For me, integrity is showing that you are honest and reliable. Someone with integrity is not likely to shift blame for mistakes they have made, and will come forward if they know they've screwed up. It sounds pretty easy, but only too often do people "pass the pie" around to their fellow team mates and someone else ends up getting blamed.
Integrity is also paramount in the recruitment phase of getting a new job, because honestly, if you've buttered up your resume so much it doesn't even reflect you anymore, you're selling a lie. Don't walk in to a new job having presented your employer with the expectation that you are superman, because when you don't shape up, disappointment will set in, and you've already lost the rat race.
Be real will your team. When you don't know what to do, and you need a little help, ask for it. Be honest to your manager about your doubts, your desires, your expectations of them and the role. Listen to what they are asking from you also, and work together on all of those things. Communication and honesty are key to a healthy, happy working environment. The same goes for your romantic relationships and every relationship you would like to hold on to.
Set little goals and Celebrate little wins
Success doesn't happen overnight. Real mind numbing, body tingling, heart pounding, success. It comes from hard work, commitment, networking, and self confidence. From a model with a Victoria's Secret contract to an instagram famous babe with millions of followers, all four ingredients are so very important. Whilst you may think that the instagram famous babe has had a struck of luck, she's been working like crazy thinking of fresh content, researching market trends, spending time at the gym and the salon for that amazing figure and beach hair flick. It definitely doesn't happen overnight. Don't degrade that sort of success by factoring "luck" into any part of it.
Every CEO worked hard to get there, and is continually proving their worth, because in today's economic climate if you drop the ball in an executive role, you're out. My greatest tip for anyone with a dream, a goal, a vision, is to set little goals to achieve on the way to the big one. It may be to reach a million instagram followers for your blog, or it may be to a school principal, or to be a member of the senate. Whatever it may be, draw a flow chart and work your way from there backwards, until you've mapped from your goal to where you are now. Then put that flow chart somewhere that you can see it, and go back to it. Make a plan to attack each goal at a time, and when you've reached another milestone, go out and celebrate. It doesn't have to be a huge party, but take the time to rejoice in your success, and the opportunities ahead of you. Whilst celebrating, avoid people who don't relish in your success. They are experiencing the Green Eyed Monster (envy) and will be no help for your self esteem until they deal with their internal demons.
Appreciate Failure
Failure is inevitable. It's going to happen, somewhere, somehow, sometime, but that's okay. In fact it's the failures that make the successes that much more beautiful. Without failure and the lessons that come with it, the self questioning and the resilience required, how could we expect to develop at all? I have failed, many, many, many times, not only at work but also in relationships, where personal finance is concerned, and those bad fashion faux pas too, but I have learnt so many lessons and my life has moved in various directions as a result. I appreciate each of these failures for having assisted in getting me to where I am today and for putting me in a position to reach my next little win.
Defeat the Green Eyed Monster
Admire someone else's beauty without questioning your own. Celebrate someone else's success without feeling like a failure. This is often easier said than done, but don't sweat it. When you feel envy taking up space in your mind, take account of it, question it and do something to change it. So your best friend got engaged, but you're single and just had the worst date of your life? Take a breather. Let your hurt wash over you and then let it go, don't let it effect how you feel about your friend's wonderful news. Similarly if he or she got a promotion or bought a new car, that's their life, their success, it has no reflection on you. The sooner you realise that we are all accountable to our own success and we are all accountable for our own feelings, the sooner you can take action against those feelings that hurt more than others. The sooner you can appreciate your failures for what they are, lessons, and move forward to the next game plan. This is where we need to practice a little self love. You are special, you have purpose and you will get to where you need to be if you put in what it takes. It may not be your time to celebrate today, but it is your friend's, so celebrate with them. Don't compete. They are on a different journey. It's not yours for the taking.
Get Organised
I can not vouch for this enough. If you aren't organised, you're cutting yourself short. Get out of bed an hour earlier so you aren't rushing to get to work late. Make a list of what you need to do for the day the evening before. Also, have a bit of a play around with your work or study area. Do you operate more efficiently with everything laid out in front of you or are electronic files easier for you to access at short notice? Don't leave things to the last minute either. If a job ad closes on the 24th of the month and it's the 12th, get it in now anyway. They may already be shortlisting candidates.
Learn to Love Yourself
For some this seems so very simple but for others it seems almost impossible. I can't tell you how to learn to love yourself. This is a lesson that you need to learn yourself and it is probably one of the hardest things to learn. As children we are told we are special, brilliant, attractive, but then time moves on, we grow up, and we can't expect others to pull us up on the time. In actual fact, society has spent so long, forging this perception that to admit that you love yourself is not attractive. That is so very sad. We are all so beautiful and each of us are born with a fresh, clean slate to make our world something magical. It may not always shape up the way we'd anticipate, and we might struggle with things, especially when we feel like no one else loves us. We have to be accountable for our own love, our self love. Once you're accountable and you have control over how you perceive yourself, success is so much easily to achieve. Learning to love yourself is a big win in itself.
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